


Cat's in the Cradle

by evangelly



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), College, First Love, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-28 14:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evangelly/pseuds/evangelly
Summary: “Your cat keeps wandering onto my balcony and you’re really cute so I don’t mind."Shinji has an unexpected encounter with his surprisingly attractive neighbor who helps him reevaluate what it means to be alive.AKA: nothing about nge is happy and i want this poor boy to fall in love and enjoy life for once so enjoy cats, fluff, and learning to be your own person.





	1. Chapter 1

Silence is the most perfect advocate for scorn. 

During the day, Shinji tried his hardest to avoid a completely quiet room. Whether it’s his ear buds snug in the pockets of his ears or the aimless rumble of strangers shuffling around, noise kept him distracted from intrusive thoughts.

He’s good, he’s been good. There are no more sudden panic attacks unless provoked and he can leave the house without time-consuming pep talks. Years and years of debilitating anxiety and now he was finally assimilated with a standard lifestyle.

No personal requirements were set when planning out a life for himself. Shinji was told to go to school so he went to school, he was told to find a job so he found a job. There was no complaint or argument along the way; he did as he was instructed to do and that was that.

Shinji’s life was like a convoluted game of chess. Each piece was cautiously placed and each move was carefully calculated—except he wasn’t the one playing. His chess game was played to satisfy the wants of others, disregarding himself entirely.

College was fine, his job was fine, his relationships with others were also fine. It was all completely and utterly fine, but nothing more.

It’s almost guaranteed that a life lived by the push and shove of others proves to be unfulfilling.

His evenings were cyclical and uneventful.

The walk of shame back to his apartment held a heavy weight on his shoulders. He’d swing open the door to a cold and bleak room with no one to welcome him home.

The walls were too plain, too naked, too empty. There was nothing substantial occupying the space. Everything was always exactly the same as he left it. He’d have the sink run as he wiped down his dirty dishes, the television would murmur as he neatly tucked laundry in his drawers. Noise. Any kind of mindless white noise was satisfactory.

The droning sounds helped him breathe a little easier for the time being, the pit in his stomach only appearing as a slow burn. Silence is an interesting thing. It’s suffocating and demanding—demanding to be heard. It’s loud and controlling, seemingly unavoidable.

The lonely atmosphere didn’t exactly help either.

Shinji wasn’t allowed to have pets—rather, he wouldn’t allow himself to. Taking care of himself drained him of the little energy he had, imagine him being in charge of another life. Yeah right.

The closest sources of domestic companionship were his potted plants. A single row of assorted greenery lined the floor of his tiny balcony, ranging from his prosperous tomato vines to his modest daffodil patch. Gardening gave him a small (very small) sense of purpose, proving that at least some form of life depended on him. He had worth.

After his nightly chores were completed, he’d contemplate a bath.

Baths were either the catalyst to disaster or his saving grace. He’d been told once before that bathing cleanses both the mind and soul; however, bad memories always seem to creep up on him while in there.

It’s always the silence that gets to him the most.

Tonight he decided to skip the bath, avoiding the potential breakdown, settling on a quick shower in the morning. The time on his wall clock made him finicky. Each second was another second closer to moments he despised the most. He took a spot on his lumpy, misshapen couch, and stared at his eggshell ceiling. The muffled sounds of the radio in the other room soon blended in with the ringing in his head.

He took a breath.  
“Why would anyone paint a ceiling off-white? It doesn’t go with anything.”

Another breath.

“I should repaint it.”

Another.

“The walls too.”

In.

“It’s not as if anyone visits.”

Out.

“It’s not as if I ask them to.”

In.

“Would they say yes if I asked?”

Out.

“Am I a burden?”

In. Out.

“Is this all there is?”

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

“Am I wanted?”

_No._

“Do people care about me?”

_You don’t give them a reason to._

“Am I alive?”

 

What were his aspirations? Why didn’t he think for himself? Why was he like this? Do people really care? Was he a burden? Is this--

No…. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Shinji squeezed his eyes shut, the ringing in his ears echoing throughout the room. A symphony of loud thoughts and dull screaming blended together into the perfect storm. He prayed for silence, begged for the suffocating emptiness to flood his brain. Peace of mind. Void of thoughts. Nothingness. The conductor of his catastrophic orchestra had completely derailed. Instruments were flying, pulses racing, drums crashing onto the floor.

Shinji tugged at his fine hair, pleading for solace, wishing for the agonizing sound of banging drums to cease.

Bang. Bang. Bang…. Wait.

In his manic state, Shinji slowed his breathing to listen… listen very carefully.

Bang.

There it was again.

Shinji was convinced he was crazy, he knew that, but there was a very real—very concerning noise coming from outside. It sounded like something was being broken, not just his psyche.

Now there was actually something for him to be panicking about…how comforting.

He stood up, wiping the accumulated wetness from his cheeks and hesitantly started for his balcony door.

The night was cloudy so the only light came from the occasional exposing of the moon. Shinji squinted through the glass to see if the disturbance had come from his balcony.

Visibility was low, but there was a small figure darting from one end of his balcony to the other.

How the hell could any non-flying animal make its way up here?

Shinji tentatively slid open his door, not particularly having a plan in mind. There wasn’t really much he could do besides politely shoo the creature away. If it got up this high, it could certainly get down.

Instead of being met with a ferocious beast, a fluffy, fully self-aware cat had been perched atop of his azealia flowers.

It’s odd to describe an animal as ‘fully self-aware’ but this feline had obviously claimed this potted plant as it’s throne, staring at Shinji as if he had been the one to enter without an invitation. The wild west stare-down between boy and cat had only lasted a few mere seconds before Shinji got a good look at his terrace.

He had surely met his match.

Every single plant had been knocked over, smashed, or skewed across the ground. His tomatoes, knocked over. His daffodils, smashed. His sunflowers, skewed across the ground. The innocent, Switzerland of a balcony had become the sad, sad aftermath of a battle scene. 1 wounded; dozens deceased.

Who knew such a small animal could do so much damage.

Shinji frowned at the mess of soil that seeped into his otherwise clean slippers; he was at a loss.

“Lilith!”

A voiced shouted from beside him, causing Shinji’s head to whip around in shock. _Oh god, what now?_


	2. Chapter 2

“Lilith!”

A voiced shouted from beside him, causing Shinji’s head to whip around in shock. _Oh god, what now._

The narrow space between Shinji’s balcony and that of his neighbor looked more and more promising to fall through by the second. Anything to avoid another unfortunate interaction.

While contemplating the jump, his decision was made clear when he looked up at the face that matched the anonymous voice.

“She gets into so much trouble sometimes. This is the last place I expected her to be.” The stranger smiled, his pearly teeth complementing his icy skin.

Shinji simply gaped at his neighbor whom he had never had the pleasure of meeting before. He wasn’t familiar with any of the other apartment residents; idle conversation didn’t coincide with his daily routine. Going straight home from work or school was the only thing he had to look forward to and awkward exchanges between acquaintances was the equivalent to a living nightmare.

What was he supposed to say? _It’s totally cool that your cat destroyed the only thing I hold dear no problem at all._

“I.. I don’t really know how she got here either.” Is all Shinji managed to mutter, just loud enough for the other to hear him.

“Mind if I come over to retrieve her? I doubt she’ll be willing to cooperate if I call her from over here.” His neighbor leaned on his narrow railing, trying to get a good look at his ferocious feline from afar. How could he smile so genuinely at someone he just met? Perhaps there was another angle to all of this.

This was a situation Shinji never expected to be placed in, but the universe was superb at dealing him all the wrong cards.

“I don’t mind. I apologize for the inconvenience.” Shinji exclaimed with slight urgency. If he was good at anything, it was expressing remorse.

His friendly neighborhood cat owner simply laughed in response, finding it comical that the victim in this scenario was the one feeling sorry. The light from inside cast a near angelic glow as it illuminated the stranger within the darkness of the night. Shinji couldn’t help but stare, fixated on each step Kaworu took back to his own abode.

Fantastic. Now this stranger was coming over to Shinji’s apartment and he had milliseconds to prepare.

_Do I offer him tea? Coffee? Anything?_

_Should I ask him to stay? Is that proper neighbor etiquette?_

_Can I just leave the cat outside my door and disappear?_

_Ohgodohgodohgod_

His internal deliberations were only making matters worse, so instead of continuing to nervously shuffle around his unruly terrace, Shinji walked back inside, searching for anything out of order.

No dust on the floor….no dishes in the sink…. no strange odors. Okay, okay, his frantic checklist seemed to be panning out for the best until the haunting sound of rhythmic knocks echoed against his front door.

Shinji nearly face planted onto the carpet, tripping over his own feet in a frenzy, but successfully made it the door in one piece, opening it for his second unexpected guest.

 

“Nagisa Kaworu.” Greeted the light-haired boy, his disposition radiating an elegant light on Shinji’s dull living room.

“…I beg your pardon?”

“I never told you my name. Now you have something to call me by.”

This was the strangest encounter with another person Shinji had ever experienced. Blunt statements, seemingly aloof but attentive behavior.... who was this guy?

“My name is Ikari Shinji. Call me whatever you’re comfortable with.” The finicky boy said in response. “Ah. I’m sorry, come in.” He said, leading his neighbor—Kaworu—out to the warzone.

On their short walk from the front door to the transparent sliding glass door, Shinji prayed to whatever God was listening that Kaworu wouldn’t comment on his bleak furnishing.

“A cello! How lovely. In such pristine condition, too. How long have you been playing?” Kaworu eagerly remarked, looking to Shinji with bright eyes.

 _We were so close to going outside. So close to avoiding small talk._ Shinji thought to himself in defeat. With a sigh, he responded, “Since I was young. My teacher encouraged me to play so I did.” He said in an almost robotic voice. An answer he had rehearsed too many times before.

Kaworu admired the instrument carefully, brushing his slender fingers against the smooth wooden frame. His lips curled into a smile that could almost be overlooked if you didn’t watch with a keen eye.

Shinji had never seen such a delicate hand—or for that matter, a delicate looking person. The way Kaworu seemed to show an intent interest on something so trivial was intriguing. His demeanor was relaxed, yet focused, two words that never could harmonize in Shinji’s view.

The moment had passed, but the cautious tone in the room carried through. To finally detach themselves from the contents of Shinji’s living room, he pulled the sliding glass door open to reveal the true reason Kaworu had to be here in the first place.

 

“Oh Lilith what did you gain from this?” Kaworu said solemnly, realizing the severity of his cat’s destruction. He crouched down to sift the loose soil through his hands, the deep brown contrasting with the stark white of Kaworu’s palm. “I couldn’t be more disappointed in her actions, I take full responsibility. How can I repay you?” He looked to Shinji for reconciliation.

If the circumstances allowed it, Shinji would rather be the one indebted than have someone grieve on his behalf. The mess could easily and preferably cleaned up by Shinji himself and only he knew the specific seeds needed. It was more of a hassle to have someone else involved anyway. This was absolutely the worst-case scenario. The ideal solution would be for Kaworu to leave and pretend this entire altercation never took place. Act as if Shinji was an unnamed stranger yet again. Anything to go back to deafening solitude.

Based on his neighbor’s perceivably profound sense of altruism, Shinji knew he wouldn’t be seeing the last of Kaworu or to his dismay, Lilith.

“This isn’t all that bothersome… I enjoy helping things grow. No harm in starting from scratch. Please don’t worry.” _Please don't worry._

Kaworu shook his head and scooped up his soot-covered cat in his arms. “I’ll treat you to dinner tomorrow night. You can see Lilith in her natural, non-disastrous habitat and I’ll cook for the two of us.”

Baffled at such a large extension of kindness, Shinji stuttered, his mind not cooperating with his mouth to politely decline the offer. “You don’t.. That’s not… It’s really not necessary…”

“Nonsense!” Kaworu interjected, “Be at my doorway at six o’clock tomorrow evening. I’m sorry that we finally met under such unfortunate terms. It’s been a pleasure, Ikari Shinji.”

And with that, his starkly pale neighbor was gone just as quickly as he had arrived, along with his unruly cat.

 

“How… What…” Shinji stammered to his now empty apartment. Was this punishment for feeling sorry himself? Flower demolition and now a shared evening with an acquaintance? What kind of terrible force was he dealing with? Forced social interaction was by _far_ the worst possible outcome to any situation.

Shinji slumped back onto his misshapen couch, not daring to glance up at his ceiling for a second time tonight.

 _Nagisa Kaworu. What an interesting person._ Was all he could think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all the kind words so far! Thank you for the support. 
> 
> evangelly.tumblr.com - talk to me about nge (or anything else!)


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